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Recovery after divorce may mean putting one's self first

The vast majority of people are taught to care for the needs of others while growing up. While this is noble in many aspects, it can cause an individual to forget that he or she also has valid needs and dreams. Both during a divorce and afterward, Colorado residents may find it easier to recover from the ordeal if they work to put their needs and goals first.

Many people may find that they have gotten into a habit of apologizing for even the smallest things in life. Though this seems like a harmless habit, it can lead to a lowering of self-esteem and a belief that one is somehow responsible for every poor outcome, including a divorce. Though friends and relatives try to be supportive, statements that can be interpreted as placing blame can leave one to feel as if he or she is responsible when life does not go as planned.

It is important to protect one's self-esteem during a divorce to facilitate emotional recovery. It is not selfish to refuse to automatically offer an apology. Instead, one can make a statement that expresses empathy but does not accept blame. If one is quick to feel guilty and apologize for every thing that goes wrong, including a divorce, it can lead others to try to take advantage or disrespect an individual. Constantly apologizing also opens one up to taking responsibility for the emotional pain of others, which can lead to an individual feeling emotionally paralyzed and unable to move forward. 

Having a positive mindset and practicing ways to protect one's self-esteem may take practice, but it is worth the time and effort. Those who are conscious of their own needs and goals likely fare much better during the settlement negotiations. Colorado residents who are preparing for a divorce may be best served by working with a skilled attorney who can ensure that their financial needs will also be protected.

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